Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Why do joint families break?


This is a question which has been haunting me for a while!
Reason, there are too many of them opting for Splitsville in recent times..

I have always seen that it is the younger brother amongst the lot who is in a hurry to separate..
Recently just too many families have gone the same way and the story is more or less the same, i.e that younger wants a separation asap!

Dwelling deeply on this and a discussion with a friend.. I have concluded on two main issues..
1. One of them (usually the younger or the youngest) starts thinking that the others are spending more, again because he has a bigger family or his kids are bigger or maybe of marriageable age and hence have more expenses..in short, this is an expense issue. So, this issue is still solvable by having a more transparent accounting system in which the expenses of each brother has to be paid out of his own pocket.
This has an added advantage of being more responsible of the individual expenses and reduces extravaganza.
2. This brother/partner (younger) might also think,despite him putting in more effort than the others, his profits/income is equally divided which is totally unacceptable to him. He feels that he cannot go on subsidizing for his elder brother and his family and sees them as a threat to his prosperity. Probably he believes he is much better off without the elder!
I have seen this not to be an issue when the roles are reversed, i.e the eldest while putting in more effort will almost never think like this of his brother, and will continue to support him even if the parents are not able to!

Usually in a joint family there is a joint business in which the partners are brothers as well.. Since it is a partnership business, the profits are divided equally. BUT, the dispute arises when there is a difference in the capability of the brothers, which may not be in equal proportions. In families where there are more than two brothers, then also the onus of keeping the family together is always on the eldest. Sometimes, one (mostly younger) of the brothers may also think that he is more capable (perhaps even puts in more effort) but his earnings are being divided equally because of the joint family business. Then this brother doesn't want to stay together and keep subsidizing or providing for others, whom he thinks he can do without..

Elders have said," each of us are like the fingers of a hand, the thumb being the most important finger, but when you close and make a fist, you need the other fingers."
one of the biggest family feud in one of the biggest industry ..!

What perplexes me is that Why is it always the younger who thinks that way?
I have come across families where I have seen the eldest being more capable yet he never or seldom wants to split. I have come across families where the eldest is not at all spendthrift, yet the younger brother is in a hurry to leave.

Perhaps, it might be suppression and the urge to carve a niche out for one self instead of being called a half ticket or chotu as my friend put it..

What angers me is Why do the elder brother wants to keep them all together.. Why does he waste his "golden time" and energy on trying to do the impossible? Why doesn't he look back at history and learn from it, instead of hoping that this time it will be different?

I hope I am born as an eldest brother in the next birth and I swear I will not try to make history, but only learn from it! :@

Picture from here

1 comment:

  1. [15-02-2011 10:13:49 PM]@ $ i f : yep u r rtte ,younger brother amongst the lot who is in a hurry to separate,
    but sum time elder brothers dosnt wnt to giv equally shares to their youngers.

    elder bros cheat .. you mean?

    yep its (cash) power !!
    its all bout money honey !!
    any 1 can cheat any 1.
    money = no family, no friends & no relations..

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