Disappearing..

disappearing forests... disappearing parks.. disappearing vilages.. disappearing fields.. disappearing food.. disappearing mankind??

mmm..Chocolicious!!

Oh my mouth is watering!
Even the mention of chocolate waters my mouth..

When I read about Hansel and Gretel, I was so attracted to the story, only because of the cottage of the witch which was made of chocolates and candies and toffees.. mmm.. wow!!
I wished I had an evil step mom and who would leave me at the forest so that I could find that cottage, and eat those chocolates. Never mind the evil witch who I thought I would outwit after eating up her whole cottage!!
Aaahhh I am lost in the creamy world!

Once some chocolate company, I think it was Cadbury's came to our school and showed us a half an hour video  of how chocolate is made. When I saw those huge vessels filled with creamy chocolate, I wanted to dip myself in it and remain there........... ooohhhh lalala mmmmm
Then I had a brilliant idea, forget foreigners, find a man who owned a chocolate factory  and hook him up with marriage! Howz that??

Even now I eat more chocolate than my kids, and if there is little I will hide from them and eat!

Love and Money!

I have been hearing that "when money comes, love goes out of the window."

Since then i have been wondering what happens when money goes?
Does love then come back in or remain?

Yes I know love is blind etc etc..
But, without money can love survive?

Can love feed you?

Get a roof above your head?

Clothe you?

Money can do all the above... and more! No?

Dont we need those things to survive?

I am not talking about wants which can be unlimited, I am talking about the "basic needs" of human beings!

If the phrase "when money comes, love goes out" holds true then why is it that most poor households have wife beating and polygamy?

Housemaids or helpers or servants who come to my house to clean, wash etc always complain of the shortage of money and sickness and hunger, and yes no support from husbands. There is no mention of love! 

Apparently there is no love.

Now you would be wondering where I got the above phrase from. Obviously, from my rich relatives. As per their view, their husbands get them everything they need, the expensive clothes, the jewelery, the foreign holidays, yet they complain of no love. So strange!

Concluding from the above, there is no love, irrespective of money. Maybe there is love only when you have the right balance of love and money, meaning a little bit of money and a little bit of love can go together

A lot of money = no love
very less money= no love

Is love a myth and money a reality?

Foreign fantasy

Yes, I fantasized the word foreign and everything associated with it.

My first love was Switzerland courtesy Yash Chopra and his picturesque film songs.

I loved the snow capped mountains and the saree clad heroine (she was too hot to feel cold in thin saree too). I must mention the trains, the ones which travel all over Europe ..wow! and the scenes that passed by
My father often had to travel to Europe because of his export business, and I yearned to go with him. Once i remember taking out all my clothes from the almirah and insisting that he take me although school was on. Obviously he didn't take me and I cried for hours.

My grandpa became critically ill and was diagnosed with throat cancer for which he was taken to london to be treated with the best doctors and hospitals, and I so fervently desired to go, that I wished I was also ill, so that I would be taken there even if it were for treatment.

It wasn't just foreign travel on my mind, I was also secretly in love with foreigners.
If someone asked me did I love someone? I used to answer,"yes, a foreigner."
Someday I would marry a foreigner and will go away for ever. (sshhh)
My prince charming in a white horse was a "gora" (white) :P

yeah yeah .. Neither did I go abroad nor did I marry a gora :-((
Maybe someday i will ..........

friend or fiend?

FrIEND always

Con game!

CONsciousness CONs CONfidence

Oh Boy!

Oh I wished I was a boy!

I had this notion that to be a girl or a boy was in my hands.. (level of confidence was ohhhh)
So, I had a sister and she was all girlie, she had her ears and all pierced when she was in class 1, but not me..
When mom wanted me to get mine pierced .. I was like, "What rubbish I am going to be a boy when i grow up!!"

I hated all girl things.. playing indoors was a no no especially with dolls and house house eeeks!!!
But I was left alone with nobody to play with, so I had to strike a deal with my sis, I play doll doll for one hour and she plays bat and ball for one hour.

Often I searched for games which required no partner, and I found squash, flying kites, playing with carom (both sides). I sometimes invited the boys from outside to throw the ball while I batted. hehe!

I was so damn serious about it that I convinced myself that it was possible and I would certainly prove it.
It was at that time I also read on some people who underwent operations to change gender, and I thought, "there! I am not the only one."

Alas! I was in the 6th std, and slowly came to realize that it wasn't possible and that I was destined to be a girl and I had no power to change it! It was a Blow initially and as a sign of giving up .. i went and got my ears, nose pierced in one go! ;(

Since then I have tried to behave like a girl (I really try hard to)

magic wand!

So I just watched a movie and there was this magic wand that did all the works and more..
How I wanted I had one..
I was sure, (because i was six) I could find it somewhere, it was only a question of time and persistence!
I thought I will start by asking anyone and everyone (someone would know!)

Now I was a stubborn child and if I wanted anything I wanted it BAD.
There was a distant relative who used to come to our house often,and even though he wasn't given much importance, i wouldn't think of not asking him, lest he knew!!
He said indeed he had one but it would cost me 50 rupees
I was ecstatic! and even though I didn't have the money I promised to get the money within a day or two.
I don't remember where I got the money from, perhaps it was stolen (yes I was cheeky enough to steal)
And sure enough my deal was done and I had a stick in my hands!
I quietly went up to my room and i moved the piece of wood up and down spoke to it for hours !!
I was desperate but it did not do anything as per my wish..
I wished I start flying but not a budge I felt!

Saddened and disheartened, I showed the stick to my grand mom (whom I was very pally with) and she told me it was a piece of sandalwood and not a magic wand!
I was :@ (angry) and !@#$#@!#$#@$%(abusive)
How dare someone dupe ME!
I had to get my money back and I waited for that relative to come so that I gave the sandalwood back to him and get my money back. He did come after a few days and I vented out my anger on him and demanded that he returned the money.. which alas! he had spent!
Along with the money, my hopes of finding a magic wand was also squashed..

one of the first bitter lessons of my life! No MAGIC WAND (boo hoo)

introduction for a new series in this blog

When I was smallY
My wishes were manY
Now that I am bigY
I know they were so sillY

Now when i think of theM
I feel I was such a buM
But wishing was such fuN
even though it wasn't doNe

The time has comE
To pen down somE
So I will try to use wit
and produce some .... eeeks did i just wish i was a poet !!
cant find a word to rhyme with wit , wonder how I came thus far!!

quit equity

eQUITy

SEekrecy

SEeking SEcrecy..

mirror

Evil livE
TRUtH HURTs
MooD DooM

punch lines

LInES with a punch!

missmall

we miss the small things in life... but run after big things!

sees

REFLECTions helps TO SEE 

bLame

to blame is lame enough

hOLD on

Too OLD to hOLD on!

Sad sins!

ShADows and SunshINeS

O A

Opposites ATTrACKt!

dead living

liVed till i diEd

sTop

You got to sTop at the Top!

Minding mind

My mind reminds me to mind my own mind!

point to point

Point I am trying to make is dont miss my Point

Why is silence golden?

If silence is golden? Why do we say it?

A lot of times I have noticed that we speak to hear ourselves.
Is it because we need to convince ourselves and hence the need to say it aloud!
Look into the mirror and say (maybe lie) "hey you are good!" and you feel good instantly, thats the power of words!

I have noticed young girls and boys need to say they love each other all the time. Parents love their kids too, and unconditionally , but parents dont need to express it in words all the time..a child is always secured about the love of their parents!
Saying is like "advertising" and when said, it brings down the sincerity of whatever is said and expressed!
Why do we need to say it? When you love somebody show it..(actions speak louder than words) be by them when they need you the most. Saying is the most easiest and perhaps the most popular way of expression!

Men and women have different constitutions, men being more practical and women being more emotional. this is the reason why men dont express their love as often as women. But aint the men doing it everyday .. earning and working hard for their family is equivalent to loving their family.. But all women want are the three words.. I love you!

"What you do speaks so loudly that I can hardly hear what you say" by Ralph Waldo Stevenson
A friend (who calls himself dull) said that he prefers to be considered dumb rather than opening his mouth and confirming it!
I read somewhere that we should try to say sweet words because we might have to eat them in the future.. would anyone like to eat bitter?
Its simply saying that we should say as much as we can hear!

I feel that words are said when actions just fail!
Would you say it if you meant it?

A line/phrase has more impact than a paragraph/page,
A word much more than a line/phrase,
can you imagine the impact of silence!!

A lot is said rather than done!
What would you like, saying it or doing it?

Why do we blame?

A "bad" carpenter always blames his tools!!
No?
A "believer" says "All happens with the will of God!"
An "estranged" couple says "Its all because of our parents that we married even though we werent compatible."
A "failed" student says "I wanted to do something else, but was forced to study!"
The list can be endless.....
We rarely see anyone admitting his/her faults..
When we blame we shrug off our responsibility and are reluctant to accept our weaknesses!!
What happens is we seldom or never learn from our own mistakes..
Everybody loves to point a finger at others...

My mummy told me when I was young,"When you point a finger towards others, three fingers point back at you." One of the few lessons of life I try not to forget!!
My faults/mistakes are 3 times more than others!!
From now onwards I point the finger at myself and the rest 3 point at the world!! cool!

Although just passing the buck, sometimes does solve the pressure of the problem..
One gains a kind of self empathy and accepts whatever has happened quite easily...
But this passing the buck is like a pain killer.. all it does is numb the after effects! but the pain/loss is still there , one only overlooks it!!

Like my mom says.. " hum acche tho sab acche" meaning when I am good everybody else is good too.

Why do we FALL in love?

I have been hearing the phrase fall in love ever since I can remember.
Why is it that a nice word like love has a nasty word like fall preluding it?
Its like we say " I fell sick/ill!"
If I just replace the words with their proper antonyms it would be "rise in hate."
Fall in Love and Rise in hate?
Getting the meaning?
I am going to try and explain it in ways I understood it.
The more I thought about it the more I felt that there is supposed to be a meaning for the placement of the words in this context.
When we are born we know less of the world around us and more and more as we grow up.
Do we then start loving the world more or hating it?
When we meet somebody and it is love at first sight apparently, do we know or do we think we know more about that person in just one day of acquaintance.
The point I am trying to make is that when we know less of something or somebody we are in love with it. The more we start to know or understand the same our love for it diminishes and hate starts to take its place. The adage "familiarity breeds contempt" holds very true here.
Now the words rise and hate, we fall because of less knowledge and we rise because of more knowledge.
So, when we fall in love, it is said that fools fall in love generally as fools apparently are fools because they just don't know anything. When they rise in hate, aren't they a lot wiser than earlier?
Imagine you are on a roller coaster ride and the feelings you have on rising and falling, while falling, due to the speed of falling we are at risk but we feel euphoria and love the rumbling feeling of it in the pit of our stomach. The moment we start to rise again the speed slows and so does the excitement.
While falling can be euphoric and offer a kind of sensation in one's life the ride back up is not at all quite appealing to my senses..

But all said and done one cannot rise without falling!! Can one?

The full form of money!

I didnt know what I would write when I wrote the topic but I had to start somewhere and so here it is..

M= Man
O= On
N= Never
E= Ending
Y= Yearnings!!

Hmm , well I think I have done an ok job in a span of 5 mins or less..

Will try to find more definition for the acronym MONEY.

Why do we like closed doors?

What a funny question!
Who doesnt want closed doors?
Would anyone sleep keeping the doors of the house open? After all, a closed door gives us security and not to mention a sound sleep.
Strange enough, I think the curiosity to open them is also more.
Would a thief try to get into a house whose doors are wide open for him to enter? He would most probably smell a rat there.

Now my parents live in Kolkata, considered to be one of the big cities of India. And guess what! we dont have a lock, er.. well, we do have a latch but no lock for sure and that latch is also forgotten to be put in place at times. Such negligence!! I see all other apartments have a GODREJ lock at least on its doors and sometimes an extra lock or two.
I was quite upset and asked my father why he did not put a lock there.
He had 2 answers;
1. The thief wont look in an open house.
2. Even if he does he can take away only wealth which is just a material thing, nothing important that he should lose his sleep over.(Now its not that we are under the poverty line but our living standards are very modest to say the least.) One of the merits of modest living is sound sleep, though I doubt if there are any takers to this theory here.

Talking about closed doors, some people even keep their windows locked to an extent that they are opened only for cleaning and closed again. They are so so petrified of natural air, that they prefer to sleep in AC!!
I am not ending my answer to locked doors here, I thought a little more about it and its metaphorical meaning.

Recently I was in kolkata and in a mall there, my aunt was with me and she has an aversion to escalators so we thought to try the lift, but alas! it was jam packed. I asked if she minded the stairs and that a little exercise up the stairs would be good for us. While taking the stairs I wondered about the people in the lift, it was full of youngsters and I thought what a way to conserve energy!! They have closed the doors too, from inside, little do they know that in time the doors are going to get closed eventually albeit from outside and they will have no option but to take the lift only. I dont think the younger generation realises that, its a pity really.

Indians are a fan of closed doors, in the name of traditions/society/religion and loyalty towards parents, we tend to close the doors to the future of our children..
If a child wants to go abroad, we are dead against it, particularly the mothers, we think if they go they will never return. We tie them down, close the doors for them and expect them to be by our side as our support and companion for our old age, we strangle their ability and give them tall lectures of how much we sacrificed in raising them up!! What idiocrasy!!!

Here I'd like to add the proverb
"If you love a person set it free, if it comes back it is yours, if it doesnt it ever was!!"
Guess nobody really loves enough (without a doubt) to set the loved one (child) free.
Closed doors offer security (read convenience) like nothing else, guard from theft, in the lift, use the TV sets as baby sitters ( parents do that to children as they have a million other things to do than to talk or be with their children), get your son to stay with you (indian attitude), to name some...

I came across a couplet (written by a muslim poet) in a novel which is;
"You were looking for the key for years,
But the door was always open!"

A closed door is like a closed mind! Is it not?

Closed doors!! I was wondering do they serve any purpose in the end?

Why all that glitters isnt gold?

What is gold?
Pure gold is a bright yellow metal which shines right through its core and doesnt even oxidies.
A lot of things glitter like gold, but it maybe some piece of cheap metal having a golden colour, which wears off eventually.
Apparently the cover outshines the content because the eye is the first and foremost judge to almost everything. As long as it is shining ( or rather as long as light falls on it) one can pass anything as gold, even human beings.
As such the colour and cover of any metal can be coloured yellow and so look like gold, which is why there are so many fake jewellery in the market and they sell like hot cakes !!!
Fake jewellery, fake people, fake businesses.. the list is endless but the light is on them, so they seem to be incandescent.
Whats more, most of us want to be in their shoes, emulate them, try to outshine others, doesnt matter if our insides are as dull as rusty iron, we want to shine shine and shine and be the center of attraction!

The point to ponder on is , does it by any way make us gold? Sure we glitter on the outside, so much light and focus on us and why not? We are working so much for the outer shine even letting go of our sense of right and wrong, letting go of our morals, but if we are rubbed against stone wouldnt the outer shine wear off after a few rubs?


Ha! who cares? Who wants to see within? As long as the eye is the lawyer and the heart the judge.
I used to wonder why is it that blind men generally have better judgement, now i know the answer, the fact that they cant see is perhaps the reason behind it.

Just like the shine is temporary, everything around is too, even the happiness that comes along with it.
Anything fake has fake returns is all I can say.

Why does the opinion of others matter?

Why is it that what the others think of us is more important than what we think of ourselves?
Why dont we recognise our capabilities for ourselves?
Do we need others to tell us what we can do and what we cant?
Of course parents are there to guide us and tell us whats wrong and whats right for us, but that is the childhood part of life.
When we grow up we stop bothering about opinion of our parents too and are more bothered as to what the world thinks of us!!
Why is there an urgent need for recognition and the feel to be acknowledged by people whom we dont even know?
We think that if I am recognised then I am someone important and feel good about it.
What is right? What others think or what we ourselves know about ourselves?

So what do we do, to get a high opinion, we start by complimenting others and say sweet nothings to them and fish for a compliment in return.
I have met a lot of people and after talking for some time, they are very anxious to know what I may think of them. I wonder if they do not know themselves and how can I say anything about them.. I wouldnt know them as much as they should be knowing about themselves. If at all, I do have an opinion then I wouldnt go beyond the apparent appearance which would just be the cover or the impression one gets by ones looks or apparel.. Its much easy to judge the cover and price them accordingly.
In the process we try to outshine others by layers of cover over us because instead of knowing what we are by ourselves and looking inwards we look for it outside us.

All the time thinking what others think, is to me a perfect waste of time and energy. For all I know there are a wide variety of people and one cannot please all and sundry. I dont even think it is worth the effort!!
I often wonder that when women dress up and wear lots of jewellery and make up trying to look the best, what is it they exactly want? Many would probably answer " I like to dress up and look good."
Its just as well because we want opinion of others and would go to any length to make a good impression. Come to think of it, if everyone is dressing up in style and looking good, then I wonder who looks at whom, since all think they are looking the best and in the end probably look at none.

All I can conclude is that what the content lacks, the cover makes up for it. Hence a person weak in character/virtues(content)probably has to take that extra effort to camouflage his shortcomings. In short to get others to have a high opinion of us we begin by giving more importance to the cover and then all that is actually left is the cover which gains more prominence while the content loses all importance.
Ultimately we lose all that we ever had. Loosing our own self confidence and sense of judgement in the blind pursuit of the opinion of others.

After all, you wouldnt worry about what people think of you, if you could know that they seldom do.........