Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Why does the opinion of others matter?

Why is it that what the others think of us is more important than what we think of ourselves?
Why dont we recognise our capabilities for ourselves?
Do we need others to tell us what we can do and what we cant?
Of course parents are there to guide us and tell us whats wrong and whats right for us, but that is the childhood part of life.
When we grow up we stop bothering about opinion of our parents too and are more bothered as to what the world thinks of us!!
Why is there an urgent need for recognition and the feel to be acknowledged by people whom we dont even know?
We think that if I am recognised then I am someone important and feel good about it.
What is right? What others think or what we ourselves know about ourselves?

So what do we do, to get a high opinion, we start by complimenting others and say sweet nothings to them and fish for a compliment in return.
I have met a lot of people and after talking for some time, they are very anxious to know what I may think of them. I wonder if they do not know themselves and how can I say anything about them.. I wouldnt know them as much as they should be knowing about themselves. If at all, I do have an opinion then I wouldnt go beyond the apparent appearance which would just be the cover or the impression one gets by ones looks or apparel.. Its much easy to judge the cover and price them accordingly.
In the process we try to outshine others by layers of cover over us because instead of knowing what we are by ourselves and looking inwards we look for it outside us.

All the time thinking what others think, is to me a perfect waste of time and energy. For all I know there are a wide variety of people and one cannot please all and sundry. I dont even think it is worth the effort!!
I often wonder that when women dress up and wear lots of jewellery and make up trying to look the best, what is it they exactly want? Many would probably answer " I like to dress up and look good."
Its just as well because we want opinion of others and would go to any length to make a good impression. Come to think of it, if everyone is dressing up in style and looking good, then I wonder who looks at whom, since all think they are looking the best and in the end probably look at none.

All I can conclude is that what the content lacks, the cover makes up for it. Hence a person weak in character/virtues(content)probably has to take that extra effort to camouflage his shortcomings. In short to get others to have a high opinion of us we begin by giving more importance to the cover and then all that is actually left is the cover which gains more prominence while the content loses all importance.
Ultimately we lose all that we ever had. Loosing our own self confidence and sense of judgement in the blind pursuit of the opinion of others.

After all, you wouldnt worry about what people think of you, if you could know that they seldom do.........


  1. To be honest, i care a damn what others think, if i know what i am doing is right, but if i had doubts i would take a listening, and if i did make an appeal," how is this costume " i sure would like an encouragement and honest opinion, i know i can make lots of mistakes, like a slip of the tongue and the fault of the mind, and if the comments came in whispers,i would even say "thank u."

  2. Some people are very "dependant" on others opinion. They blindly seek opinion of others, and would even do wrong things to get appraisal from others....this I dislike immensely..