Scared and Shy

Last week, my broker buzzed me.

He asked me why wasn't I trading. (I used to be that fool in wall street who thought that one had to trade everyday.) Well, I learnt the hard way, and when I learn a lesson, I am particular not to learn it again.
So, I told him, I am in the learning stage and my baby is giving me good company right now.
He insisted that I still trade in small quantities. So I blurted out the bitter truth. I told him, I was scared to touch stocks now. He wouldn't believe it. He said," You and scared, I don't believe this!"

Now was that a compliment?

Next there was a call from a friend, who was a friend of uh hmm a close friend.
Well, he said that the close friend would like to reconnect and he gave me his mobile number.
I said that I could no longer talk to him, and both of us are married and this was wrong.
He was insistent and said that, its okay, just get updated and have a casual talk.
And then I had to tell him the truth, I told him I was shy and I couldn't do that.
Guess what? he wouldn't believe it. He said, " You and shy, I don't believe this!!"

Now what was that again?

Picture from here

What does real beauty mean to you?

Big eyes.

Slim figure.
Fair and tall
Nice smile
That is real beauty?


As a child, fairy tales enchanted me and I looked forward to my prince charming. But Prince Charming would not settle for a vain and naughty girl, so I studied the princesses the prince liked.. and made them my ideal. There was a story of “The princess and the pea.” This story had a real princess who was very beautiful and so so delicate that even 20 mattresses couldn't stop the pea underneath them to bother the princess.

That for me was real beauty..

In my own house, the princess took the shape of my very beautiful mommy, she has a heart of gold, not so delicate with all the housework and taking care of us, a little tough but beautiful to my eyes.
When I was in standard 1 and I got to make sentences for the word “beautiful,” I always wrote.. “ my mommy is so beautiful!”

That was real beauty to me.

As I grew older and stepping into the threshold of teenage, and more exposed to the world, I discovered films and the heroines who looked really beautiful and I wished I was like any of them! Wished I had the smile of Madhuri, the figure of Zeenat, the spontaneity of Juhi and so on.
That for me was real beauty.

Then I got married and on my wedding day, I thought I really looked nice.. and splendid with all eyes only for me and people fussing over me all the time..I felt on top of the world and so happy!

That for me was real beauty.

My first born was a girl and I asked everyone,“have you seen a more cuter baby than mine?” I was ecstatic, and so happy I could make such a beautiful baby.

My babies are my real beauty.

Being a very hyper and a moody girl, I had some turbulent times, during the beginning of marriage. Times when I thought I should give it all up, but thank god my husband never listened to me when I said, “ leave me alone!” he never left me!

That for me was real beauty.

I have a few nice friends, they sometimes unknowingly make my day, by sharing with me their thoughts. Men and women who take me as I am and bring on cheer to me and boost my morale.
That for me is real beauty!


I find that intelligence and gentle behavior is the necessary ingredient for real beauty. While beauty is important to a woman, strength of character makes a man more attractive.
A woman who is pretty but not sweet natured is a turn off, just like an expensive thing which can be bought only because of conspicuous demand, but apart from show off, it has no intrinsic value to it.
If you are beautiful, you have a passport, but if you don't behave well, you don't get visa to visit.


It is intelligence which gives tact to your actions and reactions. But intelligence without sweetness is also a turn off. Its like a machine who works only with logic and no human feelings. Only logic will drain you of life.
If you have beauty and intelligence, you can be an apple pad or any machine, but not human!


As time passes, I grow older and wiser, the meaning of real beauty metamorphosed from an external to an internal one. Sure the outside beauty is very appealing to the eyes, but our other senses want more.
"A thing of beauty is joy forever." by John Keats. How do you get joy? Joy should not be only for you. Give and get joy!
It is a combination of outer physical and inner mental beauty which can only be really beautiful.
I must mention that, the inner beauty in the long run outweighs the importance of physical beauty which in any case fades away.

Real beauty is one where all senses unify and say together, along with the heart and mind.. 
that is real beauty!

Readers can read more at http://realbeauty.yahoo.com/

Back

I am back ..
I said earlier that I am a bad girl.
see all my attributes here http://shaziawish.blogspot.com/2011/04/munni-badnaam.html
and here http://shaziawish.blogspot.com/2010/11/sulking.html
and more http://shaziawish.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-wish-i-were-dead.html
I guess there are more.. but more links arent a very fancy idea!! at least to me!

All I can say is that I hope I don't repeat my histrionics ever again!
Thanks to all those who wanted me to come back and write again!